


you set the pace

by thisissirius



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>When Kaner goes down, Jonny isn't thinking about whether or not the check was dirty, he just wants to get to Kaner.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	you set the pace

**Author's Note:**

> so i think we all know and hate what happened to patrick last night. this is my attempt to work through my feelings. it was written in about two hours, chatting to mar and julia, both of whom deserve TONS of thanks for listening and letting me know their feelings. 
> 
> i still don't feel better, BUT I HOPE IT HELPS SOME.
> 
>  **ETA;** AND NOW HE IS OUT FOR TWELVE WEEKS LEAVE ME TO DIE
> 
> title shamelessly stolen from ellie goulding.

Jonny has seen his fair share of dirty checks, the ones that make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up because he can practically _feel_ the injury. 

When Kaner goes down, Jonny isn't thinking about whether or not the check was dirty, he just wants to get to Kaner. He’s caught up for a moment in the scrum of guys, but when he finally breaks free, Mike is already on the ice, guiding Kaner back towards the bench. Jonny hovers uncertainly behind them, surprised by the urge to follow. He shoves it down, turning back to the game, and clenches his jaw when he sees Petrovic heading for the penalty box. 

He's angry, feels the pressure of it in his chest, and wants to slam his fist into the smug bastard's face, but he knows better than that. He'll hit him where it will hurt more; on the scoreboard.

\---

There's a swell of satisfaction when he scores, but as Sharpy comes in for the celly, he doesn't feel the customary burst of pride and elation that goes along with a goal.

Instead, he can feel worry for Kaner gnawing at the back of his mind. He knows what it's like to get injured and then find out it's something more serious, something that will keep him from playing the game.

It distracts him for the rest of the period, even while he's trying to shove it down and hide it out of sight. When he finally gets off of the ice, knowing he's ducking out of the customary after-period run down, but he has to know, anxiety prickling his skin. 

Mike won't let him in the room, and doesn't say much. It's irritating as fuck, but Jonny gets it. They don't want to make rush assumptions, don't want him distracted when he should be focused on the game. 

"I just wanna knows if he's okay," Jonny says, jaw clenching in frustration. 

He hears someone speak from inside the room, and Mike looks irritated and frustrated, but he nods quickly and pulls open the door. Kaner is sitting on one of the beds, curled protectively around his shoulder. His face is pinched, face draining, and Jonny fights the urge to push his way into the room.

"I'm okay, man," Kaner says, through gritted teeth. It's weak as shit and Jonny can read right through it, but he nods anyway, satisfied that at least Kaner's talking. "They're taking me to the hospital."

Jonny nods. Standard procedure. "I can - I'll come get you after the game."

Kaner raises his eyebrows. He looks like he might argue, but if Jonny looks half as bad as he feels, it's no wonder Kaner finally relents with a muttered, "Fine."

Mike promises to let him know where and when he can pick Kaner up, and only then does Jonny go back to the locker room.

\---

The rest of the game passes too quickly, and yet not quickly enough. Jonny wants to stick it to the Panthers in penance for Kaner, and does his best to do so. He tries to force a second goal, makes his presence known enough that after the second period, Q can't fault a single play. He nods to himself, satisfied, and wonders whether Kaner's getting checked out yet or not.

It's stupid to dwell on it - they've both been injured before, plenty of times, but Jonny's preoccupied with it, unable to tear that part of his mind away from Kaner's injury. He wants to hope it's not serious, but there was something about Kaner's face, about the way he was cradling his arm, that leaves a heavy feeling in the pit of Jonny's stomach.

He knows what this season means to Kaner, how desperately he wants to put up the goals and points, much more this year than any other. 

When the game is done, when everyone's back in the locker room and he's done his customary lap for the first star, he ducks down into the tunnel and desperately wants to shed his gear, to get out of the stadium as soon as possible. He can't face the media scrum, doesn't want to have to listen to the questions about Kaner and not be able to answer, even when they have an okay win under the belt after so long. He shakes it off, takes Sharpy's elbow. "Can you-"

He doesn't know how to finish, how to make sense of anything rushing through his head, but Sharpy takes pity on him and squeezes Jonny's wrist. "We got this, Captain. Tell him to get better, yeah?"

Jonny nods, throat thick. He's so fucking glad to be captain of this team. He pulls away from Sharpy, rushing to get changed and grabs both his gear and Kaner's - managing to avoid the media.

The cold Chicago air is more than enough to sober him up, and he feels some of the tension bleed out as he makes his way to his car. He drops both bags next to the trunk and digs his phone out of pocket. True to his promise, Mike has left a message telling him where to find Kaner, and that they've only just taken Kaner for an x-ray. Jonny's momentarily pissed that it's taken this long, and then blows out a breath, only because he _knows_ what Kaner's going to be feeling when he gets there, and he doesn't need Jonny to be angry and tense when he arrives.

\---

It's a bitch to park in the hospital parking lot, and Jonny has to once again shove down his frustration, when he finally makes it through the doors of ER. When he tells the nurse he's there for Patrick Kane, he's afraid she's going to tell him family only and leave him standing there like an idiot. She does give him the once over, mouth turned down, but nods him through the doors, telling him that Kaner’s in room 203. Jonny follows the directions, feeling a little out of place, but finally finds Kaner's room.

He knocks before pushing open the door, making sure he's not interrupting anything. Kaner's sitting alone on the bed, jacket hanging off of one arm. He gives Jonny a look, and then winces. "I thought you weren't coming."

"Of course I was," Jonny says immediately, crossing the room. "Mike text me so I know you've only just come out of x-ray."

Kaner's smirk is half-hearted. "Yeah well."

"What's the verdict?" Jonny says hesitantly, not completely sure he wants the answer. 

Kaner doesn't answer right away, and Jonny knows it's bad. He feels a little sick, scared to know how much time Kaner's going to miss, how bad their chances are, and then feels immediately guilty. It's not fair to Kaner, and he forces himself to pay attention when Kaner says, "Broken collarbone."

Jonny doesn't know what's on his face, but it makes Kaner give him a wry look, and kick out at Jonny's calf. "Don't look so disappointed, Captain. It might heal quick."

"I'm not disappointed," Jonny says quickly. Then, "Don't rush it, Kaner."

Kaner looks like he wants to say something else, and then closes his mouth, sagging a little. "Whatever, man, just take me home."

Jonny wants to tell him that it will be okay, that he's going to get better and he'll be back in no time, but the words fall flat even in his head. He steps forward, helping Kaner into his jacket. He's expecting Kaner to bitch at him, or at least look a little irritated, but he accepts it with a sigh, eyes dark and unreadable. 

That doesn't stop Jonny from knowing exactly what's going on inside of Patrick's head.

\---

Kaner doesn't say anything as Jonny helps him into the car, then with his seatbelt when Kaner starts glaring down at it, or when he puts the car into drive and pulls out of the parking lot. Jonny has a thousand thoughts running through his head, but doesn't know how to put a single one into words.

They stop at a light, the silence in the car bordering on uncomfortable. 

"When I got concussion," Jonny starts, and then stops, because even now he remembers sitting in a darkened room, tears of frustration threatening to fall, and all the while Kaner sat in that same room, telling him everything would be okay, that they would come out the other side. "You told me that I'd be fine, even when I though I'd never play again."

Kaner looks at him sideways, face inscrutable. 

"It's not - I know this isn't what you wanted for this season, but I'll be there for you, buddy, you know that, right?"

It's more than Jonny feels comfortable saying, but doesn't do enough to convey exactly how he feels about this, about how Kaner feels.

Silence. Kaner turns to look out of the window, and doesn't agree, doesn't tell Jonny he gets it, just stares out of the car, jaw clenched. It fucking stings, but Jonny doesn't blame him.

\--- 

Jonny's thankful that the drive is short from Northwestern to Kaner's condo, but when they pull into the parking lot, Kaner makes no move to get out. He's leaning back against the headrest, arm pulled up a little to accommodate the position, and is still looking out of the window.

"Kaner," Jonny says softly, arm hovering awkwardly between them. 

Kaner turns his head slowly, fingers twitching against his elbow. "You coming up?"

"Somebody's got to make sure you're comfortable," Jonny says, too quickly for the light tone he gives it.

Thankfully, Kaner just lets out a breath and nods. "Thanks, man."

He means that, at least, so Jonny does most of the work in getting them up to Kaner's apartment. With Kaner's bag on one arm, he's not entirely sure what to do with the other. He gives in to the urge to rest it on the small of Kaner's back.

Kaner gives him a knowing look, but doesn't protest.

It's too quiet for the Kaner that Jonny knows, and he's itching to get some of the old Kaner back. He knows what it’s like to worry over a game in your head, even though this is much more than that. This is Kaner's entire season, playoffs looking less likely by the minute, and he's desperate to tall Kaner that it doesn't matter, that there's next season. Still, if he knows anything, it's that Kaner's a lot like himself, even when they play at pretending they're completely different, and Kaner won't accept that platitude; he wants too much for himself, knows he can do so much more.

As soon as they're through the door, Kaner tells Jonny bluntly that he needs a shower, and Jonny's about to protest, when Kaner gives him a hard look. "I asked what to do at the hospital, asshole, give me some credit."

He disappears into the bathroom without another word, and Jonny stands in the middle of the kitchen, staring after Kaner with a frown. He knows what this is, knows Kaner's keeping him at arms length without actually telling him to fuck off.

\--- 

He hears the shower start up in the bathroom and knows he can’t hover in the doorway all night, so he drops Kaner's bag in the hallway and grabs the bag from the hospital where Kaner dumped it on the island.

He takes out the meds, reading the notes and messages from Mike on what to do. With a glass of water and Kaner’s painkillers in hand, he makes his way into Kaner's bedroom, putting them both on the bedside cabinet. Kaner might want him to leave, but Jonny is sticking around and making sure he's comfortable, and he's not going to give in to the weak attempts to get rid of him. He thumbs through his phone for tips on how it's best to sleep with a broken collarbone and proceeds to arrange Kaner's bed. He has to grab a couple of pillows from the spare room, but eventually he's satisfied.

"What the fuck have you done to my bed?" 

Jonny turns to see Kaner in the doorway. He's wearing a pair of boxers and a threadbare t-shirt, but his hair is wet, curling at the ends, and there's a sheen of water along his neck. "it's supposed to be good for you. So you don't hurt yourself."

Kaner's jaw clenches, and Jonny knows the exact moment he's going to snap something out, so Jonny steps closer. 

"Fuck you, I'm trying to _help_."

"I didn't ask you to!" Kaner shoots back, looking annoyed. "I can take care of myself, I don't need you babying me!"

It's not about that, was never about that, but Jonny can't make himself say it. He doesn't really know what it _is_ about. "Your meds are on the table."

Before he can works his way around Kaner, Kaner's hand shoots out and grabs his arm. He looks at Jonny, pained but contrite, and sighs. "I'm sorry, man. I just-"

Jonny doesn't know if he's going to finish, and when Kaner's eyes drop back to the floor, he twists in Kaner's grip, fingers resting on Kaner's shoulder. "It's late. Get in bed, Kaner."

It's telling that Kaner doesn't even protest, just lets Jonny push him over to the bed. 

Jonny's thankful he read right, because Kaner looks less pained by the position than he has all this time. He rolls his eyes when Jonny hands him the meds, but once again doesn't protest, swallows them down and settles back against his pillow fort. 

Hovering uncertainly at the side of the bed, Jonny wants to find a reason to stay. He knows he should get home, that he has shit loads of stuff to sort out, but most of him wants to stay with Kaner.

"Can you grab my phone?" Kaner says, eyeing Jonny weirdly. 

Thankful for something to do, Jonny wanders back out into the hallway. Patrick's clothes are piled on the floor, phone resting on top of them. He can see the screen flashing with notifications. He doesn’t read any of them, though he wonders vaguely how many messages are waiting for him, but he has more important things to worry about.

"I think your entire family is trying to find out what's wrong," Jonny says, handing Kaner his phone.

Kaner flushes. "I text them while I was waiting for the x-ray." 

Feeling awkward again while Kaner goes through his texts, Jonny puts his hands in his pockets and contemplates leaving. "I should go."

Kaner looks startled, phone dropping to the bed. He smooths out his expression, frowning. "Oh, yeah, okay."

"Do you need-" Jonny gestures at the TV. Kaner shakes his head, but he's looking hesitant, gaze darting between the TV and Jonny. "Right. If you need me, text, yeah?"

Kaner rolls his eyes. "Yes, captain."

That's not why Jonny's here. "It's not - I'm not here because of that."

Kaner nods. He fiddles with the comforter for a moment before looking up at Jonny, emotions plain to see on his face. "I know."

Jonny feels his chest tighten.

"You could stay." Kaner says it so quietly that Jonny almost misses it. 

"Yeah?" Jonny says, just as softly. 

There's something incredibly vulnerable in Kaner's expression, and Jonny feels it like a punch. It's everything he's wanted Kaner to tell him, but he's saying it without words. 

"Jonny." Kaner sounds wrecked, fingers still curled around the comforter. 

Jonny sits carefully on the edge of the bed, turned towards Kaner. He unfurls Kaner's fingers, and smooths them down. "Tell me."

It's a long time before Kaner can speak, and he doesn't meet Jonny's eyes when he starts to talk. "This was going to be it."

"It will be again."

Kaner scoffs, but Jonny grabs wrist, tightens his grip a little. "Listen to me, Peeks." Kaner looks up, eyes dark, but he's not interrupting. "You told me that I'd get through the concussion and I did. You can _do this_."

Kaner swallows, and then nods quickly, a jerky movement that has him wincing a second later. Jonny doesn't think about it, just curls a hand around the good side of Kaner's neck. 

"I'm so fucking-" Kaner cuts himself off, ducking his face, but Jonny tilts his chin up with his thumb. Kaner looks angry and sad in equal measure, and Jonny wishes he could take it all away. 

"I'll be here," Jonny says, because it's all he can do, all he wants to do. "If you need me."

Kaner blinks, eyes a little wet, and he nods again, pushing against the hands Jonny has on his neck. "I do."

It's everything Jonny’s been waiting to hear, and he shuffles forward so that he can lean in and rest his forehead against Kaner's. Kaner closes his eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

Jonny can feel Kaner's pulse against his fingers, quick and vivid, and he presses in closer, nose bumping Kaner's. 

"Jonny?" Kaner asks, but he doesn’t pull away, and his eyes are dark. Jonny doesn't have to wait long before he pushes forward, lips pressing against Jonny's. They're slick and wet, his tongue darting out to lick at Jonny's bottom lip, and it's so new and yet something altogether familiar. 

Jonny lets himself sink into it, into _Kaner_ , and closes his eyes, letting out a soft noise as Kaner deepens the kiss, open-mouthed and everything Jonny’s needed without knowing it. 

When he pulls back, Jonny runs his thumb over the tendons of Kaner's neck. Kaner’s giving him a soft smile, the first since the game. Proud that he’s the one to put it there, Jonny can’t keep his own grin off of his face.

"Shut up," Kaner says, as though he knows exactly what Jonny is thinking. 

Jonny isn't stupid enough to pretend that everything is going to be okay, but whatever comes their way, he’ll have Kaner’s back. That’s always been enough for them before, and now they have this, something else that binds them together, Jonny doesn’t doubt that they’ll get through it.

**Author's Note:**

> PLAY FOR KANER, BOYS.


End file.
